⚠ Content Warning

This chapter includes graphic battlefield violence and injury.

That evening, Zhao Huanxi was writing a family letter in his tent. He thought that if his mission didn’t go well, this could be the last letter he would send back home. No matter how he tried, he just couldn’t write it right.

After crumpling up over a dozen pieces of paper, he put down his pen and walked out of the tent.

A crescent moon hung coldly in the sky. It was early of the Fourth Month, and the snow on the ground had just started to melt. The night was still very cold, and when the chilly wind blew, goosebumps appeared on his neck. He jogged all the way to Cao Sandao and the others’ tent.

In the center of the tent, the fire pit was burning brightly, radiating warmth. Cao Sandao and the others had already packed their things and were gathered around the fire, roasting sweet potatoes while chatting. When they saw Zhao Huanxi arriving, they quickly made room for him.

“Xiao Zhao Jiangjun, I heard you can draw. Can you do portraits? How about drawing one for me? If I don’t make it back this time, at least my mother will have something to remember me by,” the youngest of Cao Sandao’s squad, Xiao Ding, asked with a smile.

Zhao Huanxi was taken aback.

Cao Sandao teased, “If you want to ask Xiao Zhao Jiangjun to do your portrait, just say it. Why make excuses?”

“Yeah, you’re talking about leaving a memento for your mother, why not say it’s for your wife instead?”

The group burst into laughter, and Zhao Huanxi’s mood lightened. He went back to his tent to get his brushes, ink, paper, and inkstone, then sat by the fire to draw a portrait of Xiao Ding.

Once finished, everyone crowded around to take a look. They were amazed at how a few strokes had captured his likeness so vividly, and they couldn’t stop praising it. Soon, they all asked Zhao Huanxi to draw their portraits as well.

As Zhao Huanxi was drawing, the other squad leader, Lu Xiaolin, arrived. Upon seeing the portrait, he was intrigued and asked Zhao Huanxi to draw one for him as well.

Cao Sandao pulled him aside and said, “Line up, line up! Don’t think you can cut in just because you’re a squad leader. Haven’t you seen me waiting in line too?”

“Fine, I’ll line up. I didn’t say I was cutting in. By the way, what’s that smell? It’s so good!” Lu Xiaolin replied.

“Aiyo, it’s probably the sweet potatoes being done. So, Xiao Zhao Jiangjun, how about we finish the sweet potatoes first and then you can continue with the portraits?”

“Sure,” Zhao Huanxi agreed.

He put down the paper and brushes, and together with the group, they shared the roasted, charred, sweet, and piping-hot sweet potatoes. After chatting and laughing for a while, Zhao Huanxi resumed drawing portraits for everyone.

After Lu Xiaolin received his portrait, he marveled, “Xiao Zhao Jiangjun, your painting skills are amazing! If the portraits in the government’s sea capture notices were as lifelike as this, no fugitive would ever escape!”

Cao Sandao chimed in, “Exactly, look at this, this is a real-life picture of a river bandit!”

“Who are you calling a river bandit?” Lu Xiaolin laughed as he jokingly scolded, handing the portrait to someone nearby while playfully grappling with Cao Sandao by the fire.

The rest of the group laughed and cheered, and the atmosphere in the tent grew lively and full of excitement.

Zhao Huanxi stayed in their tent until the middle of the Xu hour (around 8 p.m.), then returned to his own tent, holding his brushes, ink, paper, and inkstone.

He thought of the soldiers who had only one portrait, and even that might not reach their loved ones, and felt that he didn’t need to be overly sentimental. After all, we are all born of our parents—whose life is any less precious?

He wrote a brief family letter to his grandfather:

“To Zufu*&, please do not blame Li **Jiangjun. Both he and Sun’er have simply done what we were supposed to do. Sun’er has no regrets, no complaints. Sincerely, your grandson, Zhao Huanxi.”

As for his mother, he felt that no words could truly comfort her, so he instead drew a self-portrait to leave with her. At least, when she thought of him, she would still be able to see his image.

Finally, there was the letter to Dong Jiejie.

He sat quietly under the light for a long while, then picked up his pen and wrote: “Dong Jiejie, the snow in Liaodong is beautiful, just as you where when I met you. The snow in Liaodong is cold, just as I was when you met me. To see such snow once in a lifetime is already enough. May the rest of your life be bathed forever in the spring breeze, and may you never enter the bitter winter.”

The next morning, when Ma Laoliu brought hot water for Zhao Huanxi to wash up, Zhao Huanxi handed him the three family letters and said, “Laoliu, if I don’t make it back this time, could you please find someone to take these three letters to the capital for me?” He then handed over his pouch and added, “You’ve worked hard all day since we’ve met.”

“Jiangjun, I can’t accept this…” Ma Laoliu quickly tried to return the pouch to him.

Zhao Huanxi insisted, “Take it. If I don’t come back, it won’t be of any use to me.” With a smile, he patted Ma Laoliu on the shoulder and went to find Cao Sandao and the others.

In the afternoon, the soldiers of the Tenth Team from the Third Battalion, led by the Assisant Commander, left the Guangning camp and began their march toward Ruidong Fort. Zhao Huanxi, along with Cao Sandao, Lu Xiaolin, and their two squads, brought up the rear. After nightfall, they separated from the main group and hastened toward Baishi Gorge.

The snow was still deep in the wilderness, up to their ankles. The two squads trudged forward under the moonlight for nearly two hours. As the temperature dropped, they found a wind-sheltered hollow in the mountains to rest. They set up sentries, built a fire, and prepared their simple dinner.

There wasn’t much to prepare, just heating up the flatbreads they carried over the fire and eating them with water as their meal.

Around the fire with Zhao Huanxi, besides Cao Sandao, Lu Xiaolin, and a few other veterans, was a new recruit, Tong Xiaohu. He had joined the army last year’s fall and was only seventeen, a year younger than Zhao Huanxi. Being a local, he was familiar with the terrain and had come along for this journey.

He is named Xiaohu (meaning little tiger), and he has a sturdy, tiger-like appearance. Sitting across from Zhao Huanxi, he kept stealing glances at him with his bright, distinct black-and-white eyes.

“Hey, what are you doing? Why are you staring at Xiao Zhao Jiangjun like that?” Lu Xiaolin reached over and pinched the back of Tong Xiaohu’s neck, asking.

Tong Xiaou scratched his head and shyly replied, “They say there’s a delicious food in the capital called ‘sugar-steamed milk curd’, it’s snow-white and delicate, both fragrant and sweet. I heard Xiao Zhao Jiangjun is from the capital, and he’s so fair, so I wondered if he ate too much sugar-steamed cheese to get so white?”

Everyone burst into laughter. Lu Xiaolin gave him a slap on the back of the head and teased, “You little rascal, are you thinking about women? Are you married yet?”

Xiaohu’s face turned red, and he replied, “Not yet, but my family has already arranged a marriage for me. Her name is Erhua, and she’s really beautiful. She said she’ll only marry me if I give her a silver hairpin. Duizhang, how much is a silver hairpin worth?”

Lu Xiaolin said, “How would I know? Ask Xiao Zhao Jiangjun, he’s from the capital, he would know.”

Zhao Huanxi, meeting Tong Xiaohu’s hopeful gaze, replied apologetically, “I don’t know either. But don’t worry, when we get back, I’ll give you one.”

Tong Xiaohu’s eyes lit up. “Jiangjun has made a promise! Xiao Zhao Jiangjun, I’m serious about this!”

Zhao Huanxi smiled and said, “I said I’ll give it to you, so I will. Don’t think I’m just teasing you.”

Feeling that the silver hairpin was already taken care of and that his future wife was set, Ting Xiaohu became overjoyed, scratching his head and ears, while his older comrades around him teased him.

“Xiao Zhao Jiangjun, I think you’re about my age. Have you gotten married yet?” Tong Xiaohu asked Zhao Huanxi.

Zhao Huanxi nodded, “I got married in the Sixth Month of the year before last.”

“Is your wife beautiful?”

Lu Xiaolin slapped Tong Xiaohu on the head again and said, “What a silly question! Xiao Zhao Jiangjun himself is so fine, how could his wife not be beautiful?”

Zhao Huanxi smiled and nodded, “She’s very beautiful, much more so than I am.”

Tong Xiaohu stared blankly, murmuring, “Heaven, if she’s even more beautiful than you, how stunning must she be?”

Zhao Huanxi gave a soft smile, lowering his gaze to the flickering flames in the fire, silently adding two dry branches to the fire. He didn’t speak.

On such a cold night, they couldn’t lie down to sleep. The group huddled together around the fire, dozing off in turns to stay warm.

Zhao Huanxi kept his hands in his chest pocket, where there was the mirror that Dong Jiejie had given him. After rubbing it for a long time, he could tell, just by the touch of his fingertip, which part of the texture on the back of the mirror was Dong Jiejie’s and which was his.

This is good too. No matter what would happen in the future, at least in this small space, he and Dong Jiejie would always be together.

The next morning, everyone still ate flatbreads for breakfast, covered the fire with snow, and continued to hasten towards the direction of Baishi Gorge.

After two more days, on the morning of the fourth day, a group of white stone hills resembling mounds appeared before them. In such an endless expanse of stone hills, it would be nearly impossible to find a narrow path without someone familiar with the terrain to lead the way.

Tong Xiaohu skillfully led everyone to the entrance of Baishi Gorge, and Cao Sandao ordered everyone to stop and rest. Lu Xiaolin sent four people ahead to scout the path.

Zhao Huanxi watched as everyone took out their swords, bows, and arrows, cleaning and organizing them, and his heartbeat quickened. He suppressed his emotions and took out his own long sword to clean it as well.

About half an hour later, the four scouts who had gone ahead returned, saying there was no unusual situation inside. Lu Xiaolin did not dare to be careless and sent more people ahead to continue scouting the path. He then led his soldiers to enter Baishi Gorge, keeping a distance of about twenty or so paces from the scouts. Cao Sandao’s squad followed at the rear, placing Zhao Huanxi between the two groups.

Once inside Baishi Gorge, no one spoke. They moved cautiously and silently.

The narrow path alternated between wide and narrow, with barren stone walls on either side. The surroundings were eerily silent, and occasionally, a bald eagle would fly overhead, its distant cry sending a shiver through the heart.

With their senses on high alert, Zhao Huanxi soon began to feel mentally exhausted.

He glanced around, seeing faces filled with determination and calm. A deep sense of guilt rose in his heart, and he reached up to rub his cheek, trying to shake off his weariness and focus on moving forward.

It was a cloudy day, making it difficult to judge the time by the sun, so they relied entirely on experience.

Lu Xiaolin estimated that it was almost noon and was about to order everyone to stop and rest when the soldiers ahead, who had been scouting, suddenly blew their whistles and shouted, “There’s an ambush—”

The shout was cut off abruptly, and at the same time, seven or eight arrows flew toward them. Caught off guard, the five or six people at the front of the group were all struck by arrows, and even Lu Xiaolin was hit in the shoulder by one.

“Archers, suppress them! The rest, follow me!” Lu Xiaolin drew out the arrow lodged in his shoulder and threw it aside. Taking advantage of the ten archers on his side starting to return fire, he drew his long sword and charged forward with his soldiers.

Cao Sandao pushed Zhao Huanxi against the stone wall on the side of the path and told several nearby soldiers, “Protect Yunhui Jiangjun!” Then, he led his team to follow Lu Xiaolin into the fray.

The sounds of clashing blades, roars, and screams of pain quickly filled the air. Zhao Huanxi’s heart raced, pounding in his chest. He felt both terrified and ashamed.

While all the soldiers charged into battle, here he was, a general, hiding behind the stone wall, relying on others to protect him!

He tightened his grip on the hilt of his sword and shouted at the few soldiers left behind by Cao Sandao, “Go help Cao Duizhang and the others!”

“But Cao Duizhang told us to protect Jiangjun.”

“You know he’s the squad leader, but I’m the general! Listen to me!” Zhao Huanxi yelled.

The soldiers, already unwilling to stay behind, were motivated by his shout. One of them called out, “Take care, Jiangjun!” before drawing their swords and charging into battle.

Zhao Huanxi leaned against the stone wall, gasping for air, trying to calm himself. He turned his head to look at the three soldiers who had been struck by arrows.

Those who could still move, like Lu Xiaolin, had pulled out their arrows and continued to fight. The ones who remained were the ones who could no longer move.

Zhao Huanxi walked over, broke the tail of the arrow lodged in the chest of the only soldier still alive, and dragged him to the side. Then, he looked up at the two groups locked in combat, just a dozen paces away.

He had disregarded his mother’s pleas and traveled thousands of miles from the capital to Guangning, and then ignored his grandfather’s warnings to come to Baishi Gorge. Now, the battlefield was only a dozen paces away, but those few paces felt like an insurmountable chasm, making him too fearful to step forward.

Cao Sandao, Lu Xiaolin, and the others were his comrades, his brothers in arms—brothers, family. If it were his mother or Dong Jiejie in the fight, would he be able to stay back and not help?

No, he couldn’t!

Zhao Huanxi’s blood surged with impulse, his heart burning with resolve. Gripping his sword tightly, he ran toward the battle.

But when he reached the battlefield, he did nothing. He only glanced at the scene, and then his hands began to tremble, his legs went weak, and his stomach churned.

The mountain walls on both sides of the road were splattered with blood, like ink smeared across a canvas, and the corpses littering the ground made the place look less like the human world and more like a hellish nightmare.

The stench of blood invaded his nostrils, and the figures around him blurred and shifted like a revolving lantern. He saw someone’s throat slit open, blood spraying more than when he had slaughtered pigs. He saw someone stabbed through the abdomen, and when the knife was pulled out, the intestines came with it…

He saw Cao Sandao, covered in blood, shouting at him, but his mind was ringing with a deafening buzz, and he couldn’t make out a word.

A fierce and unfamiliar Tiele soldier suddenly emerged from somewhere, raising his bloody long knife and swinging it toward him.

Stunned by the brutal scene of the battlefield, Zhao Huanxi stood frozen, completely unsure of how to react.

In the critical moment, Cao Sandao lunged forward, using his left shoulder to block the blow with his own body.

The scalding blood splattered across Zhao Huanxi’s face, jolting him awake. He saw the Tiele soldier, with a fierce, crazed expression, about to thrust his blade through the vulnerable Cao Sandao. Without knowing where the strength came from, Zhao Huanxi shoved Cao Sandao aside, raising his own sword and charging toward the enemy.

His mind was still blank, but one thought consumed him: he had to kill this Tiele soldier, or he would kill Cao Sandao. Cao Sandao couldn’t die, he was the pillar of his family, with four children still too young to grow up without him!

Driven by this conviction, his legs grew steadier, his sword strikes became smoother, and his hands grew stronger. When his blade pierced the Tiele soldier’s heart, his expression was numb, without a single trace of hesitation.